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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25180348">hello, i'd like to order</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankcamellia/pseuds/blankcamellia'>blankcamellia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SixTONES (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Delivery Boy AU, Emotions, First Kiss, First Time, Hokuto is a ball of insecurities, Hokuto-centric, I'm tagging it as angst because he's just so lost so many times, Idiots in Love, KyomoHokku Week 2020, M/M, Pizza, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Second chapter is, explicit - Freeform, slight plot at least</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:15:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25180348</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankcamellia/pseuds/blankcamellia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He knows that pizza isn't the best food in the world but it works when he writes his thesis, and it doesn't help that the delivery boy is gorgeous.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kyomoto Taiga/Matsumura Hokuto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>....I ran out of words at the end...<br/>but... seeing Taiga deliver food spurred into this idea while talking to Niña and and and, can he please delivery to my address too?<br/>I wouldn't mind eating pizza for the whole week HAHA</p>
<p>anyway, it's basically word vomit at this point, but only one more prompt to go for the planned week and I'm done!!! but I'll probably whip out something on Sunday as well lol</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He sighs, running his hands through his hair, tousled and greasy from the lack of attention but his thesis is more important, it needs to be done soon, and he’s so behind he can’t even count the hours that are left. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words are a jumble together, forming words and sentences that don’t even exist but at this point, he’s just so tired of it all that he lets it go, thankful words even come out of his overworked brain. He promised Jesse that he’ll eat after he’s finished this paragraph but said paragraph never seems to be good enough to finish. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s ready to delete the whole file when his phone dings with a notification - a new message from Jesse, and he glances at it, trying to decide if it’s worth looking at or not. When the next message rolls in, he gives up and picks up the phone, unlocking it and swiping at the notification. </span>
</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>ordered you some pizza. figured you’d forget about the food since you haven’t replied in a few hours. </span>
    </em>
    
  </p>
</blockquote><p>
  <span>Hokuto sighs again, throwing his phone on the couch, taking off his glasses to rub at his eyes, and Jesse was right. He had forgotten about the food until now, and when he looks at the time, he realizes it’s gotten really late, and he types a quick thanks to Jesse, who proceeds to threaten him with contacting Terasaka, and that’s a thing Hokuto doesn’t want. That would be too much of a distraction. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thesis stares at him with empty pages, a handful of thousand words, and he knows that he’ll be able to finish it, he just doesn’t feel like it right now, even with the deadline looming over his head. For once, he wants something in his life that is exciting, something to bring him out of the world between pages, websites, and words he’ll never use in his daily life. He craves something to break his usual habits, routine, lifestyle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s ready to curl up into his blankets and call it a day when his door rings, reminding him of the pizza Jesse ordered, and it better be good pizza, even if he’s getting it for free. Last time, he got a weird combination pizza because Jesse thought it sounded interesting, and it caused him to call out of classes for three days. He was not a happy camper back then. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door buzzes again, and he picks up his glasses before he shuffles over to the door, hugging his outer yukata around him closer, and he sees the top of the head of the delivery man when he takes a quick glance through the peeping hole before he unlocks the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s half-way done putting on his glasses when he sees the male standing in front of him, and he thinks for a second that his glasses might still be smudged because he can’t see clearly in front of him, the person in front of him too bright. Then, the world refocuses and he finally sees him clearly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pizza delivery man is a gorgeous male around his age, slightly shorter than him, blond hair pulled into a small ponytail, eyes round and bright, and he’s holding out the pizza box with equally gorgeous hands, slightly red from the cold air outside, and Hokuto thinks the man might be at the wrong place because he looks way too good to be a simple delivery man? Not that delivery men can’t be gorgeous but this one looks like he’s supposed to walk red carpets, hold golden statues engraved with his name and have his face plastered all over the country’s billboards. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then, he speaks, reciting the practiced lines from the company, voice bright like his aura, a slight tremble to it, like rain falling gently on the rooftop, and Hokuto is sold. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This is the exciting thing he’s been craving. And with that, he doesn’t mean the crush at first sight situation his heart thinks is happening but the curiosity, the need to know why this stranger is doing this, the sudden urge to do something out of character, start a new page.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He only manages to say thank you to the other though before he has to run back to work but he remembers the small smile he got, albeit a very well-practiced smile, and his heart is doing somersaults without his permission. Next time, he promises himself, he’ll ask him why he’s working as a delivery boy when he’s that gorgeous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s really nothing of his business but he can’t help but find himself way too invested in this stranger, a stranger called Taiga, he finds out from the receipt</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He finishes a total of five additional papers that night while snacking on the pizza. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A few days later, he orders again, and to his luck, Taiga is the delivery man again. Hokuto smiles when he sees the blond hair through the peephole, and this time, he got his glasses on properly as he opens. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He greets Taiga with a short hello, getting the usual practiced greeting back, and Hokuto smiles a little at how natural Taiga seems to be delivering the lines, and it only gives him more proof that Taiga should be somewhere else, at a different stage, than here. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We hope it tastes to your liking!” Taiga exclaims with a smile and Hokuto nods in response before Taiga tilts his head, breaking character for a moment to just stare at the box of pizza he just handed over. “Although, I personally have no idea how it tastes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a weird statement to make out of nowhere but Hokuto feels his body straighten, nerves on high alert and he sees this as the perfect chance to strike up a conversation without it being weird.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve never tasted it?” His question is genuine because you’d think that the ones working at the company would know what their products taste like but apparently, Taiga is different. Part of Hokuto knew that already. Everything about Taiga screams different.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve never tasted pizza that is not home-made before,” Taiga admits and shrugs, as if it’s not a big deal, as if it’s normal for everyone and Hokuto almost gapes at the other, not believing his ears. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, it’s okay, I mean, I like it, it’s nice?” he knows he’s stuttering, uttering complete bullshit but he’s a bit taken aback by Taiga’s statement that he doesn’t know how to proceed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, okay,” Taiga looks slightly bummed at the answer, maybe even disappointed, as if he’d expected Hokuto to talk more about it. He’s not sure but something he’s sure of is the way he wants to keep listening to Taiga’s voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night, when he licks his fingers clean from the sauce and crumbs from the pizza, he submits his finished thesis, dedicating a line to Taiga for giving him the final push to complete his last project in school.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He keeps getting Taiga every time he orders pizza, and he suspects Taiga thinks he’s living on pizza, considering the number of orders he’s done the past weeks. Call him crazy but it might be partly because he keeps getting Taiga to his door as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every time, he gets to know something about the other. He finds out that Taiga is a year older than him, and is only working because his dad told him to get experience since he’s always been homeschooled, which tells Hokuto that Taiga is probably a sheltered, rich child, and it all makes sense. Hokuto doesn’t mind it at all because it’s cute how Taiga gets interested in things Hokuto thought was common knowledge but is newfound insight for Taiga. He gets to know that Taiga loves tomatoes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> loves them, and Hokuto finds it adorable and even says it out loud without thinking, which causes Taiga to turn in a very similar shade of red. The next time he orders pizza, he thinks he screwed it up by calling Taiga adorable since the latter didn’t show up on time for his order but it turned out that he had to take a detour due to maintenance on the road.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He also gets to know that Taiga plays the guitar and that his money he’s making from the job is going toward a new guitar, one he’s been looking at for weeks now. He tells Hokuto how he can actually afford it right now but he wants to work for it, make it special because it’s the first time in his life that he’s doing something for himself. Hokuto finds the way Taiga talking about his passionate interests very captivating, and he collects the small details about Taiga, just like a study book, creating his own little manual about Taiga.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe he keeps Taiga by his doorstep longer for each time he comes with his box of pizza, and maybe he doesn’t care, and he wants to believe that Taiga doesn’t seem to care either. They’ve skipped the usual greetings and practiced words, always jumping straight to new questions, new discoveries, and when Taiga laughs at him, after hearing about the time he accidentally walked into the wrong lecture because his friends told him the wrong classroom, it’s the sound Hokuto wants to get married to. It’s bright, brighter than the sun itself, a reflection of Taiga’s soul, and Hokuto wants to unravel more of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please enjoy your order,” Taiga says one night, more jokingly than seriously, putting on a facade of a diligent worker, not at all staying overdue with 15 minutes, and his little smirk gives Hokuto butterflies. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wonders if it’d be too soon to invite the other over, if it’d be weird, or if the past weeks together outside his apartment with a pizza box between them is considered as strangers still. Taiga bids his goodbyes, and when he’s almost at the stairs, Hokuto calls out after him, voice croaking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want to eat this pizza together?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga whips his head around, almost knocking his helmet off his head, blond hair covering his eyes but Hokuto can still see the shocked expression, his own heart beating fast and almost regrets his outburst when Taiga responds in a thrilled tone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d love to!” Taiga smiles, and everything is well in the world again. Time’s flowing again, the world is turning and Hokuto’s heart does not calm down. Instead, he feels ecstatic that Taiga agreed. “Let me just clock off work, and I’ll be back?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could see Taiga stand on his heels, rolling his feet restlessly, eager to leave already, and he nods, so fast he thinks his head might fall off because yes, he wants Taiga to be back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next time his doorbell rings, a few minutes later, he jumps off his couch, wiping imaginary dust off himself, suddenly nervous for no reason but also for all the right reasons because Taiga was coming. He feels like he’s back in high school when he tried to ask his crush out but all he did was to stare instead, however, this time will be different. He won’t stare, or he will, but he hopes he’ll be able to hold a decent conversation too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wipes his hands on his pants, making sure they’re not drenched in sweat before he opens the door to welcome Taiga inside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s different, way different and it borderline feels wrong because he’s supposed to be the one stepping out of the door, not Taiga stepping inside. The moment their eyes meet when the door is wide open, he smiles and his nervousness disappears. Taiga is there, gorgeous as always, maybe slightly more now that he’s not dressed in the pizza company delivery outfit, and Hokuto has to hold himself back from commenting about how stunning Taiga looks. He’ll save the compliments for later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga looks around, curiosity evident on his face, as if he’s never been inside an apartment before, and Hokuto figures that it might as well be true, considering what Taiga’s been telling him. His apartment is not the oldest, nor the newest, or biggest, but as a struggling student, it’s sufficient. Hokuto likes it a lot actually. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He offers Taiga some soda, a convenience store-bought soda and it immediately catches Taiga’s attention, the older finding it amazing there’s soda in bottles that taste just as good as the machine he got at home. Hokuto rolls his eyes at Taiga, finding the obvious difference between them a bit intriguing because Taiga is not acting anything like any of the other rich, spoiled, and entitled children he’s encountered before. It’s another point to the endless list of things he finds attractive in Taiga.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s divided the pizza already for them, kept it warm on low heat in his small oven while he waited for Taiga, and Taiga looks like a child on Christmas day when they finally sit down on the couch to eat. Then, he watches in silence how Taiga picks up a slice, bringing it to his lips, and Hokuto feels his cheeks heating up as he focuses on Taiga’s lips - how they wrap around the crust, teeth biting into it, ripping off a small piece, sauce staining his lips, tongue flicking out to wipe it away, and it’s all just too enchanting. He doesn’t even notice when Taiga lets out a hum of appreciation. He just keeps staring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s brought back to reality when Taiga pokes him with a slice, staining one of his cheeks in the process.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, did you say something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said: it’s good, it’s surprisingly good,” Taiga pouts at the lack of attention Hokuto’s giving him, still holding the slice his hand by Hokuto’s cheek. “Want a bite?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga offers his slice and brings it up a bit higher, enough for Hokuto to catch the dripping cheese and slowly make his way upward to the slice. The moment he can taste the first bite of it, he sighs contently, small sounds escaping his lips, his stomach hungrier than he thought, and he chews his bite properly before licking his lips and wiping them with his thumb. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he looks at Taiga, he sees the older male with the same hollow look he’s seen himself within the mirror lately. The look where you get totally lost in what’s in front of you and that thing is the only thing that matters. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do that again,” Taiga breathes out, eyes locked on Hokuto and he raises his eyebrows at Taiga’s request. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That thing with your lips again,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto is not sure if Taiga means the licking part or the wiping part, so he does both again, and boy, Taiga’s eyes widen, and he sees clearly how Taiga clenches his other fist in his lap tighter, body straightening and eyes even brighter than before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s hot, definitely hot,” Taiga admits, surprising Hokuto with his frankness, a thing he didn’t expect Taiga to possess, not in this way at least. He figures it might be because Taiga is used to get whatever he wants whenever he opens his mouth, and while he might have thought it’d be irritating, he now finds it endearing but only because he’s on the receiving end. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you.. do you want a taste?” he doesn’t recognize himself as he utters the words, hesitantly but firmly, giving Taiga the option to reject him if he’s reading him wrong but Taiga is shining even brighter when he hears those words, nodding shyly, which is a contrast to the previous honesty.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then, things happen too fast for Hokuto to even recollect them properly. He remembers them both leaning forward, his sauce clad fingers under Taiga’s chin, tilting his head in position, Taiga’s hot breath, and then, there are soft and hungry lips mixed among the acidity and savory from the pizza, and he soon doesn’t know which lips belong to who, or which tongue belongs to who. It’s all a mess but it’s a wonderful mess, so gentle yet passionate and yearning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They part but Hokuto wastes no time and leans in, licking away the sauce stains from the pizza that Taiga has missed around his mouth, and pizza has never tasted better. The sounds Taiga lets him listen to as he keeps kissing him is better than anything he could have imagined. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the pizza remains forgotten as they take more important matters in hand, Hokuto wanting to discover if he can get Taiga to forever make those sounds.   </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. i'll give you my firsts (and my everything)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hokuto's not fully convinced that he's the one to experience all of Taiga's firsts with him because Taiga is incredible, he could have anyone. So why would he choose to be with him - a thesis struggling student in a slightly run-down apartment who orders pizza just to see his crush?<br/>It doesn't make sense to him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wasn't supposed to write this (now) but it happened. </p>
<p>At 756 words I struggled, didn't know how to proceed. I took a break, watched some TV, ate, gave my waifu some head scratches, ate ice cream, got sleepy... then I picked it up again... changed the font to Comic Sans and zoomed in to 150%. It helped. </p>
<p>I also stayed up to 2 a.m. and as promised, I blame Niña for it because we started talking about this.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He can hear the shower running even from his bedroom, the pipes whining as usual when you turned the temperature to a certain degree, and it was a weird metaphor for how Hokuto is feeling right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The blankets wrapped around him serve no use as he knows they’re going to be gone soon anyway but he tells himself that they’re a protective layer. Protecting him from Taiga. Or more specifically, protecting Taiga from him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beautiful, adorable, marvelous Taiga, who has given him his heart ever since the fated day when they shared a pizza from Taiga’s work, nervously getting to know each other more than just shared conversations between pizza boxes. Taiga, who has given Hokuto so many of his firsts, and tonight is another first to be given away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He buries his face in his hands, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes, trying to will the nervousness away but it’s stubbornly there, looming over him and whispering to him how huge this. Breathing unsteadily as he listens to the soft footsteps of Taiga’s shuffling around in the bathroom, the door creaking when he opens it, tiptoeing back to Hokuto’s room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not the first time he’s been with Taiga intimately, far by, they’ve done things here and there because they can’t keep their hands off each other. To be fair, Hokuto believes that if anyone got the chance, nobody would be able to resist Taiga. It makes him a bit, if not a lot, insecure at times because he’s nobody compared to Taiga. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His beautiful Taiga, who can have anyone, chooses to be with him, who can barely afford or bother to fix the creaking bathroom door or broken cupboards, who struggles to finish his thesis among cup noodles and used coffee cups, who is nobody but a hard worker. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His Taiga, who so beautifully laughed along with him when they first fell into bed together, hands all over each other, high on endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, and all the chemicals that make you happy, sharing hurried kisses, and Hokuto remembers it as if it was yesterday. The magical feeling of Taiga’s fingers running over his exposed skin as his shirt rode up, calloused fingertips from playing the guitar touching him briefly, making his whole body shiver. Taiga, who smiled so gently at him when he first discarded their clothes to feel more of each other and shamelessly told him that it’s a first for him, causing Hokuto to back up, immediately alert and scared. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga had reassured him that it’d been okay, that he wants it, that he doesn’t see the big problem in it, all while caressing Hokuto’s face gently with one hand and the other one traveling down Hokuto’s chest. It had made sense back then, to listen to Taiga, to give him what he wanted, what </span>
  <em>
    <span>they </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted, and drown in the feeling of their skin against each other. No hurried touches, no hurried kisses. Only the two of them, in their own world, and Hokuto had let Taiga set the pace. It had felt incredible, letting go of the reins and letting Taiga explore to his heart’s content, and at one point, when he had Taiga’s fingers wrapped around him, he thought Taiga had been lying. It had been that good. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The night after, he had dreamt about Taiga’s fingers all over his body. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Every time he touched Taiga after that, he was afraid that the other would reject him suddenly, that maybe he did something he didn’t like, that something would not be okay. It didn’t stop his growing desire to feel more of Taiga though, and the first time he put his mouth on Taiga, carefully and slowly, he got so overwhelmed with feelings that he had slight troubles concentrating.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga’s hands had been in his hair, tangled between his mess of dark hair, guiding him gently until he had swallowed him whole. The older’s moans had echoed in the apartment, a sweet symphony for only the two of them to listen to, Taiga’s whole body reacting in incredible ways he didn’t expect, Taiga’s hands turning into a rougher tug with each time his cock hit the back of Hokuto’s mouth. Then, when he had wiped off the stray spurts of come on his face, he had looked at Taiga with his blond hair spread out on white sheets, eyes closed in bliss and breath heavy, and to Hokuto, Taiga had never looked more beautiful. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had wiped away a few tears as well, emotions overwhelming him because he couldn’t believe it was real, that Taiga was giving him all of this. That he was the one experiencing it all with him. Him, out of everyone that Taiga could have chosen. He had prayed that Taiga had not noticed him crying, or he would never hear the end of it. It had just been so overwhelming, knowing exactly how much Taiga he had in his hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s why he feels like he’s not worthy to be the one to deflower Taiga tonight. It’s why his heart hurt hurts when he imagines how it’ll feel with Taiga beneath him, or on top, or however they work it out, but it hurts because it means so much, and he’s not sure if he’s ready to shoulder that responsibility. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s why his breath gets caught in his throat when Taiga steps into his room, towel around his waist and neck, and he knows he should be used to seeing Taiga naked by now, but the sight of him is always so ethereal. He wants to hold Taiga, gentle and caring, as to not break him, afraid that the tiniest wrong touch would cause him to scatter, and there are so many things about himself that could make it all go wrong.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, he goes back to hiding, even when Taiga crawls up on the bed, straddling him and leaning to pull his arms away from his face, suddenly feeling shy himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Taiga asks him in a soft voice, hair falling to the side of his face, and he suddenly looks years younger, and it doesn’t help at all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing,” he swallows the lie, and it’s not really a lie either, it is actually nothing, it should be a big deal, it shouldn’t affect him this much, but in the end, it does, and it’s suddenly everything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t lie to me Hokuto,” Taiga’s words don’t sting, they’re wrapped with worry and it tugs on Hokuto’s as well because he’s just overthinking, he knows that but he can’t help himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga means so much.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reaches up to comb his fingers through Taiga’s hair, brushing his bangs away, watching how the older automatically leans into the touch, humming in a low voice. This is okay. It’s not scary. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you… are you sure you want this?” he asks finally, and he feels when Taiga sighs into his hand, eyes closing as he breathes in and Hokuto knows that he’s going to be on the receiving end of another lecture.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve talked about it already, I’m sure, it’s not that big of a deal, is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You keep saying that but — “</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There are no buts Hokuto, only butts, and I kinda quite like your butt if I may say so,” Taiga says as he wiggles his lower body with his words, emphasizing his point, and Hokuto’s body reacts to it, of course. “Relax Hokuto.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It should be his line. It should be him telling Taiga that, it’s so ironic. Despite Taiga’s words, he still doesn’t feel like he’s worthy of this but he doesn’t want to see Taiga looking so worried, so he’ll swallow his own worries for now, if it makes Taiga happier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He brings Taiga down, cradling his face with both of his hands and he presses soft kisses against Taiga’s, like leaves falling on water, cotton candy falling off the stick, and embers from the fire at the same time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga’s hands travel the familiar route over his body, patiently and detailed, paths were his fingers have already walked but never mapped, exploring every nook and cranny of Hokuto, every vein, every bone, and juncture. The more Taiga touches him, the more he relaxes, physically at least. There’s still the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that tells him that he’s not enough but it gets washed away every time he feels Taiga’s pulse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He unwraps the towel from Taiga’s waist, gently throwing it aside on the floor before running his hands over his waist, down his thighs, marveling at the sight. Their eyes meet and Hokuto bites his lips again, still not being sure about this, and Taiga senses it, rolling his hips slightly, making their cocks slide against each other. His body has accepted it already, reacting to Taiga’s in the most natural way possible, sending shots of arousal through him, and a very small part of him wants to hurry it all up and devour Taiga already. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he won’t. He will meet Taiga in the middle, let him lead, and make sure that it’s always Taiga who has the last say. It’s not about him only, it’s about Taiga too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grips Taiga’s hips a bit firmer, keeping them steady and down and he rolls his hips back at Taiga, earning a soft moan from the other, and he keeps rocking against him, cocks hardening with each slide. He knows how to do this at least, he knows how to make Taiga feel good, make him fall apart with his touches only.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He just doesn’t know what to do when Taiga wants more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga, on the other hand, seems to know exactly what he wants, and Hokuto curses silently how fast of a learner Taiga is. He should never have taught Taiga how to work him up easily - slender fingers wrapped around his growing erection while gently nipping on his skin, enough to make sure he feels Taiga’s teeth on his skin but not enough to leave marks. He’s burning all over the places that Taiga’s mouth can reach, and hips jerking into Taiga’s hand on their own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s when his own fingers find Taiga’s ass, gently rubbing it, feeling the softness of it along with the firmness of his thighs, that Hokuto brushes over his entrance on instinct, causing Taiga to gasp in surprise. Hokuto retracts his hands immediately, realizing what he did, and instantly regrets it. Too fast. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then, Taiga is grabbing his hand, putting it back on his ass, looking him straight in the eyes as he speaks up again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Relax, it’s fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto wants to yell at him that it’s not fine, that he’s being dirty and disgusting for going so fast about it when Taiga should take it easy, pick someone better, someone who can give him everything that he deserves. That he should pick someone who got better confidence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even if he knows that no one will ever love Taiga as much as he loves him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga shuts up him up with a messy kiss, more passionate and desperate than their slow ones before, pouring his determination into Hokuto, trying to prove to him in ways that words can’t, that he’s sure. He wants Hokuto. Hokuto knows it, he does but he can’t make himself believe it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t this nervous when it was his first time. Probably because it didn’t involve any feelings like. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He feels the familiar wetness on his cheeks again, and he can’t stop himself before Taiga notices it too. Worry spread over Taiga’s face as he leans back enough to caress Hokuto’s face, wiping away the tears that roll down his cheeks, and all Hokuto can muster is a weak shake of his head. He’s fine. He swears he’s fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re crying Hokuto,” Taiga’s voice is gentle, just like his touches, and it only makes Hokuto even weaker, emotions tugging on his heartstrings, threatening to snap them any moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to hurt you,” he admits, and it’s probably the best summary he can muster right now. It’s not just about the sex, it’s about all the other things around it that come after. He doesn’t want to pressure Taiga into this, making him feel that he’s using him, that he’s only after his body, doesn’t want to make him feel like he’s doing a mistake he can’t undo. Giving your first to someone should be special. It doesn’t have to be celebrated or praised but it should be thought through, and Hokuto is not sure that Taiga has done that.  He doesn’t want to cause Taiga any heartbreaks or commitments he will regret. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You won’t hurt me Hokuto,” Taiga kisses his forehead, sighing into his hair, surprisingly patient with Hokuto’s continuous waves of insecurities. “I’ve been practicing, I know it’s not the same but I wanted to know…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not it —” Hokuto starts, ready to argue with the other about all the pros and cons about one’s first when he realizes what Taiga just said. “You did what, you said?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve practiced,” Taiga repeats, running his hands down Hokuto’s chest again, slowly, circling random patterns over his delicious abs. “At night, alone in my bed, after my shifts where I’ve kissed you goodnight, and all the time, I’ve been thinking about you, and how you would feel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto gasps at Taiga’s words, not believing it all, or he can, actually he can. He can imagine it, Taiga spread out on his own bed, fingers coated with lube, hissing at the first contact at the cold liquid, soft moans escaping his lips mixed with Hokuto’s name as he eases his finger inside, taking his sweet time, all alone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It makes him shudder, cock twitching back to life, and Taiga notices it of course, and he continues, feeding Hokuto with even more images. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was never satisfying enough though, my fingers…  they’re not as thick as yours, and the angle is not the same… I kept thinking about you Hokuto, so much, and I’m finally ready. I’m sure.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sure I want you. I’m sure I want to give you my first. I’m sure you’re the one. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He probably needs it on repeat for the rest of his life but for now, it’ll suffice, it’ll calm his mind a bit, especially when Taiga wraps his hand around Hokuto again, thumb flicking over his head, smearing the pre-come all over his shaft, veins pulsing with desire.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he jerks into Taiga’s hold the next time, he turns them over as gently as he can, kissing Taiga on the lips and down his whole body before he leans over them to grab the tube of lube he kept beside his bed. Taiga rubs his feet comfortingly along Hokuto’s legs as he fumbles with the liquid, and he swears to himself that he knows how to do this part, it’s not his first time but with Taiga, everything feels like it’s a beginning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga lets out a string of content moans when he finally brushes his fingers over his butt cheeks, then between them, finding the puckered hole waiting. Taiga quivers as he slides one fingertip over it and then away, slow motions, teasing, testing waters, and he moans, when Hokuto presses a bit firmer against the wrinkled skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taking his time to let Taiga get used to the feeling of his fingers against his entrance, pressing it in enough to open, retreating, then back again, not wanting to rush this process at all, his other hand drawing soothing circles on Taiga’s hip. To Taiga, it must feel like forever, his moans varying between desperate whines and sighs of satisfaction. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leans down to press a kiss to Taiga’s temple as he slowly pushes one finger in a bit more, surprisingly sliding in easily, the tip only making the older lose his breath. Hokuto pauses briefly, kissing him soothingly again until Taiga nudges him with his foot, wanting him to continue. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their breathing synchronizes as Hokuto tries his best to go as slow as possible, feeling the way Taiga contracts around his finger the more he pushes it inside. He doesn’t dare to move it more than just slowly sliding it out, leaving the tip inside before he slides it back in, smoother than before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’ll take a while before Taiga is ready to take another finger, he knows that, and it doesn’t matter if Taiga has practiced before, it’s different when someone else does it. Especially when you like that someone. So he takes his time, marveling at the details he can see in Taiga while he’s one finger deep in. The way Taiga’s eyebrows move as he feels the way his walls clench around Hokuto’s finger, the way he bites his lip when the wave of arousal washes over him when the finger slides back into him, and the way he chants Hokuto’s name, like an unsung melody. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he puts in the second finger, Taiga’s skin is flushed in a nice pink shade, eyes glossy, and screaming for more. He wants to give Taiga more, he does, but not now. A little more, or it’ll hurt. They can be quick another time but not this time. He’ll let Taiga complain as much as he wants later but he won’t budge now, he’ll take this slow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two fingers are by far thick enough to be compared to Hokuto’s cock, even with the stretching he’s doing, and Taiga has commented countless times before that it’s huge, and while Hokuto appreciates the compliment, he’s now scared he won’t be able to prepare Taiga enough. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Taiga starts to rocks his hips down on Hokuto’s hands, he thinks it might be time to add a third finger. It stretches Taiga even more, as it should, wanton sounds rolling off his tongue, and Hokuto’s careful, listening closely to any sound that Taiga might make that indicates any discomfort, eyes trained on Taiga’s face, in case he does something that hurts. It doesn’t, on the contrary, it feels good enough for Taiga to have his cock almost fully hard already, leaking so much against his stomach. He considers reaching down to stroke it, to ease some of the pressure but he suspects it might be too much for Taiga, so he decides not to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga’s moans turn into soft mewls, asking Hokuto to do something, anything, and he dares to curl his fingers, and it causes Taiga to arch off the bed, letting out a silent gasp, and Hokuto thinks it’s a beautiful sight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Taiga slaps his lightly on his arms, asking him to get on with it, he feels for the first that maybe this is right after all. He reaches over to the bed stand, fetching a condom, and he doesn’t even get to open it with his lube coated fingers before Taiga snatches it from him, ripping it open, breathing out hard before rolling it over Hokuto’s erection. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If he wasn’t fully hard by now, he definitely was the moment Taiga started stroking him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga pulls him in for another sweet, slow kiss before he lets Hokuto position himself, the tip of his cock brushing against his stretched hole, and it makes Taiga shudder of anticipation and excitement. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He breathes out, ready to push inside, slowly, when it hits him again, the wave of insecurities. The way he feels that this is not what Taiga deserves, that it’s not his right to do this to Taiga. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s just Hokuto, and Taiga is Taiga.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His hands start to tremble as he tries to hold onto Taiga’s hips, and he feels Taiga’s hands on his face again, forcing him to look his boyfriend in the eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Taiga says reassuringly, or as reassuringly he can and Hokuto wants to believe him. “It’s not like it’s your first time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can hear the slight disappointment in Taiga’s voice but it holds no resentment. If Hokuto could, he would give Taiga all his firsts too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Exactly, it’s your first time, and it’s just… huge,” Hokuto admits in a low voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you are, actually,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not what I meant,” Hokuto groans, not knowing whether he wants to cry or laugh at Taiga’s honesty. It does make his cock twitch though, still waiting to enter Taiga, and he sees Taiga’s questioning gaze before he replies. “Still…  are you sure.. with me because I can’t…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want your stupidly massive dick inside me Matsumura Hokuto, and I don’t know how many times and in what way I can get it through your thick skull,” Taiga pinches his cheeks, trying to prove a point but it’s not working that well with him being all naked and ready beneath him. “Hokuto, I want you, and I love you, in all your forms, believe me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If he wasn’t hard, he would have started crying, despite the crude way Taiga tried to convince him, and he guesses that he has to listen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leans down to kiss him again, whispering </span>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
  <span> back because all the times before are never enough, always wanting to kiss Taiga, before he braces himself again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He presses the tip of his cock against Taiga’s hole, still stretched despite their little pause, coating his cock with more lube before he pushes in, watching with awe how he slides in slowly, stretching Taiga open even more. With a moment of resistance, Taiga clenching down on him for the intrusion, gasping out loud, nails digging into Hokuto’s skin, he’s head deep inside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He lets Taiga adjust before he pushes in a bit more, feeling the way Taiga slowly stretches around him, adjusting slightly to the thickness of his cock, and the heat makes his heart speed up. He’d never imagined having sex like this could feel this complete and satisfying. It was more than just physical attraction and means to get to an end. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Taiga starts to roll his hips, wanting to feel more of Hokuto, he gives him an experimental thrust, gentle and careful, and the sounds he gets in return plays like a record. The moment he’s fully inside Taiga, all bottomed out, he breathes out again, letting out the breath he didn’t know he held back. It’s unreal and incredible at the same time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He moves to wrap a hand around Taiga’s erection, watching how Taiga moans into the air with the first stroke, body moving on its own as it rocked down on Hokuto. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Move,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even in the heightened state of arousal, Taiga’s demanding, and Hokuto doesn’t complain, not now at least, and he tests his thrusts again, pulling out and pushing back in with less resistance than before, eyes once again trained on Taiga, not to miss the slightest sign of discomfort.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga’s grip on him tightened, along with a few more moans, a good sign which made Hokuto relax a bit, and Taiga was so much more vocal with his cock filling him up than any time he had sucked him off before, and he loves every second of it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga shifts slightly, maybe by accident, maybe on purpose, at the same time as Hokuto thrusts in, causing him to hit him in another angle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hokuto!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way Taiga utters his name in complete bliss makes his whole body shudder, makes him forget all the insecurities around him because it’s making him feel whole. He thrusts back in, hitting the same spot again, feeling how Taiga’s cock in his hand twitch in pleasure, warning him that he’s close. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He lets out a moan of his own, Taiga’s heat around him increasing and in the combination with Taiga’s sounds, it’s all he needs to finish. He’s not heard himself moan like this before, so raw, so real, and so addicting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He strokes Taiga a bit faster as he snaps his hips a bit deeper, a bit faster, enough for him to feel the change in friction and heat but not enough to make Taiga feel uncomfortable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taiga feels the familiar tightness and heat in his stomach, knowing that he’s close, and he can’t believe how incredible the whole exchange has been so far, way better than any imaginations he’s had, and he doesn’t know why Hokuto’s been so insecure and troubled by this. It’s amazing. He’s amazing. They’re amazing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hokuto flicks his thumb over Taiga’s tip, causing him to shudder, and with the next thrust hitting his prostate spot on he sees white, throwing his head back, cock pulsing in Hokuto’s grip, coating his fingers and stomach with his release. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s not too far behind himself, a few more thrusts inside Taiga, and he’s coming too, feeling like he’s on top of the world, losing himself in the sensation for a moment before he pulls out gently, immediately caressing Taiga everywhere, making sure he’s okay, pressing soft kisses everywhere he can reach, listening to the content hum coming from Taiga.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s do that again, “ Taiga whispers to him when he’s back from his high, settled in Hokuto’s caring arms, all cleaned up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It washes away all his worries, like sunshine after a raging storm, and he agrees. </span>
</p>
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